yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize