i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
