This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
