To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
