and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My vagina is officially offended.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
