My room smells like vodka and shame
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
