I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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