If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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