he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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