I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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