i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
