He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
