We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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