I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
