Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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