Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
