I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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