Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize