At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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