You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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