dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
