in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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