my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
