why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
