Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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