people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
