It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
