A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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