how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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