They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
