How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
