Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry fraaaancesca hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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(253): View more from Washington

Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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(518): View more from New York

my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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(415): View more from California

dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint

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(406): View more from Montana

Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

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(316): View more from Kansas

I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death

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