do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
