There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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