p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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