my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
