I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize