If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize