Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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