Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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