So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
