perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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