And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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