We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Less talking, more tequila
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
