I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
