i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
