Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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