At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
