What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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