You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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