I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
