Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
