That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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