he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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