pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
