Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
