Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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