my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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