Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
