I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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