He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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