i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
