those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
