Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
