Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
