How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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