If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
