just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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