I feel like abortions should bother me more
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
