If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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