she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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