sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
